Poor Nathan. He probably thought he could just shoot his mouth off and walk away. It would appear, however, that reality would be a bit more, uh, cruel.
After his initial tirade in Metal Maniacs' November issue (refresh your memory HERE), the magazine has apparently gotten enough negative feedback from readers to print a representative missive from "Joe -- Sent Via E-Mail", along with a rebuttal from our pal Nathan. All told, roughly half of the first page of Maniacal Mail is in reference to Disarray.
For some fun, I've put down "Joe's" letter, and ol' Nate's rebuttal for you. My "color commentary" will be in orange. Enjoy! I did!
Hey Birk,
Just thought you should know I saw your review of Disarray's In The Face Of The Enemy [November 2002]. You are closed-minded. If you would dig your head out of the ground, you would realize it doesn't have to be underground death metal to be heavy or good. Shouldn't you review based on what you think others will think more than your own severely biased opinion? Then, to make it worse, you throw around names like ProPain, Kirk Windstein, Biohazard and even Jeff Gaither. When you stated, "Pro-Pain are passé," you showed your true colors as a conformist. Real music stands the test of time, unlike the crap you listen to. I bet you're a big fan of Cattle Decapitation. Oh, they're soooo talented! (We in Disarray have no problem with Cattle Decapitation; I've never even heard the guys, but I'm sure they're great. Carry on "Joe".) Ha ha. Just to let you know, in fact most fans of Disarray, Biohazard, Pro Pain and Crowbar, including myself, do not wear size "XXXXXXXL" as you stated. I myself wear a "L" and am one hell of a sexy guy. (Hey, me too!) So choke on that, slapnuts!
Joe
Sent Via E-Mail
Dear Joe,
I'm thrilled beyond belief someone is actually reading my stuff in this mag, and that you felt so compelled to send me some feedback. In fact, such a response couldn't be better praise for a writer: It "drew" a response from you, albeit negative. (Kinda like the "praise" George W. Bush gets for his economic policy.) Yet, I can't help but feel cheated -- and I'm sure the rest of the Maniacs staff will concur - that most readers would much rather write in and bitch about any niggling criticism of "their band" instead of saying, "Hey, that review was right on" or "Hey, way to turn me on to a new band!" Guess you can't argue with fan-boys, eh? (I suppose you expect our fans to be "grateful" for your review?) And obviously, proved issue after issue, metal's got plenty of 'em.
Your erroneous assertion that I should base my reviews on what "others" should think while also
eloquently asserting that I'm a conformist has so many holes in that argument, I don't even know where to begin. (Actually, I kinda agree with this.) However, I'll just say this: If you're using that line of thinking, I guess I'll just praise as genius any little fart Cannibal Corpse or Cradle Of Filth decide to slap on a record (and both have done exactly that, on numerous occasions, and it "sells"). (You do it for the clones of these bands; why not do it for the originals?) Basically, to paraphrase S. Craig Zahler, I've got to climb a mountain of mediocrity each month, so not to waste my time nor yours, I'm only gonna write about stuff that's either really good, really bad or really interesting but flawed. Disarray happened to be "really bad" (specifically, boring).(Yup. Just like you. Boring the tits off of me.)
Just for the record, I happen to find Current 93 and Low just as heavy as, say, Neurosis and Godflesh, who all happen to be truly heavier than 99% of the "underground DM discs" you claim I listen to and champion. (In the Playlist section of the same issue of MM, yours includes Merrimack, Immolation, Annihilatus, a couple of DM split LP's, and -- get this -- Elton John's "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road". Whatever.) And just for the record, I happen to dig both Crowbar and Cattle Decapitation, (Way to backpedal there, jackass!) so if you are indeed "one hell of a sexy guy," come on over and slap my nuts -- help release some of that pent-up latently homo testosterone, okay? (His or yours?)
Your Medium-sized friend,
Nathan T. Birk
Just to remind you, Nate: you asked for this. "Bring on the hate mail...", right?
Have a nice day.